The alarm goes off, reaching to hit the snooze, you might be wishing for just five more minutes. Before you know it your mind is already racing with all that you have on your agenda today. The tasks to complete, the people you have to see or talk with, the approaching project deadline, the family events of the day and transporting, the planning and preparation needed. Or maybe you are just on autopilot with your morning routine. That’s where I believe most of us are, running from autopilot to go, go, go; without much thought about how we will show up to the world, until we encounter people. Whether those people are positive or negative, often our energy will naturally match theirs. As a result, we allow our environment to dictate how we show up.
How you show up starts with your image. Visually, we speak volumes. You’ve heard a picture is worth a thousand words and that we need to dress for success. In fact, research shows that it changes how you perform. It is also why actors of a play have a dress rehearsal, or speakers dress to connect with their audience. Certainly, how we dress conveys a message about us. But your image is just as much an inside job as an outside one. Let’s face it, you can put the icing on the cake, but you can’t hide what’s inside. People are smart, they see it. Remember, people want authenticity over perfection. However, that doesn’t mean you should throw up your hands and say, “this is just who I am.” That too conveys a message, one you may not want. Are you really giving the world your best?
So how do we show up confident even when we might not be feeling so confident or when we find ourselves running on autopilot? Confidence is not something you are born with, or something that happens to you. It’s a habit you develop over time. Skills or talents that are developed by turning off the auto pilot and being more intentional about our choices create confidence. Positive affirmations, dressing with authority, improving body language, leveraging your strengths are some ways to improve your confidence.
But unlike confidence, true self-confidence is an overall mindset about your ability in all areas that are important to you. It’s future thinking. What is your belief about your abilities? Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? Self-confidence is really about emotion. Coach Brooke Castillo states “Self-confidence comes from knowing that I can experience any emotion and handle any feeling that comes my way, because I can manage my mindset.” Learn to generate the feeling of self-confidence by knowing that you manage your mindset. Try this affirmation: I believe in my ability to get results, no matter how long it takes, how many times I have to fail, or what I need to learn. This promotes a growth mindset. Self-confidence is your ability to know that you can handle any negative emotion, keep going and live life with self-confidence!
